Internet Diary 25#

My body is disgusting, I hate it so much and all it does is make me feel bad about myself. Everything about my uterus is so gross and wrong. 

To tell the truth I think my period lasted only for two days this month, how? I have no clue to tell the honest truth.

I want this self hate to go away. 

I’ve also been over working myself these two past weeks.

My grades were so bad and I would’ve been a complete failure if I didn’t pick them up.

At the end I had 3 A’s and 2 B’s and one D at the end of this week. I completely forgot about math and that’s why I have that one D.

I’m still questioning who I am, it doesn’t feel right and makes me uncomfortable when I say my actual name.

In the future I’m gonna change my name to Pluto legally because it’s a name that feels comfortable to me. 

A couple nights ago I was crying to myself, I couldn’t stop it and so I went to bed and stayed up listening to music till I actually fell asleep.

Earlier that night I was struggling with motivation and trying to push through it with my drawing. I became grumpy and then decided to close my sketchbook and watch something on my ipad while looking at something on my computer.

To tell the truth I believe my brain is done with everything. I just wanna sleep the entire day and week away to avoid stress from daily tasks and activities.

My sweets addiction is still bad and it’s the same with my coffee addiction, my coffee addiction is so bad to the point my friends are taking it away from me. 

With my sweets addiction it gives me a stomach ache even though I still crave it and eat it.

I really want a oreo milkshake right now lmao.

I’ll end this diary here for today, I just wanted to post something since I haven’t posted anything in 2 weeks :3