entry 9

the more i think about it the more i realize that n oone currently has ever truly loved me the way i loved them and i do understand tha ti may not be telavent to most peopeli  nmy life but it just hurts and i  know it sounds cringey to be reading and i do fdel that way too bit to think that all the effort i put upon being loved and loving others isnt enough for them to reciprocate makes me wantto rip my organs otu and i rwally cant do anytbing about ti i cant at all atlwast i dont think so i just wan t someone to love me back too idk mayeb im selfish but its reassureance maybe im just doinf this allcfor myslef but it was once for them too idk im crying agai n lolhahl