if old me met me now

i have 2 names.

my first name is Pája, and my second Samko.

(backstory of Samko is, i used to call myself "sam" wich in my country means lonely. everyone around me caught up to it and since i lived in slovakia for four years, they started calling me Samuel, or Samko.)

thats where it begans. Pája reminds me of my old self. being a people pleaser, let people control me, taky advantage of me, manipulate me for their own good. Samko on the other hand stopped worrying about other people, mainly died inside.

i recently had a thought "what if those 2 different versions of myself met? 

well i thought about it, and this is how it turns out;

white room. the silence echos around. there's just one table, with 2 chair. on one side is Pája. you can vissibly see she's concerned seeing her other side on the other side of the table. Samko.

,,You're not me..there's just no way. what happend to you?"

Samko smirked ,,love happend." Pájas eyes widend ,,oh really? is he handsome? is he nice? where is he now???" 

Samkos silence says it all. ,,He was our everything, he broke us. You thought u were in love before but no, he was different. you really loved. You left but he took a part of us. Part we will never get back. He's a jerk, dumbass and a cheating manipulator. But he was ours.." Pája just smiles ,,I know we will find someone better, trust me." and holds Samko's hand on the table. Samko quickly pulls back, almost yelling ,,No. There's no one else for us. We had to let him go. he deserves better. He only suffered because of our illness."

,,illness?..." Pája seems concerned

,,Bpd, autism, adhd. he only suffered, I made him go through hell. I still love him dearly, yet there's still alot of hatred towards him, for the things he done to me..the things he will do to you..." Pája is speachless. 

,,Yeah, don't act you didnt see this comming. look at you. look at us. we were not made to live. everything ends with me. I'm the one who will end this mess. we know there's no other answer. Pája just nods in numbness ,,I hate you.."

Samko laughs ,,tell me something new. we despise ourselfs." 

"We can't die. I for sure know there's someone who is waiting for us." 

Samko just rolls her eyes ,,can't stop being delusional, can you? You're dying. We are. There's no place we belong." 

,,I don't belive your me." Pája frowns.

"I don't believe i was you once." Samko responds and gets up. 

"There's more that happend, that we turned this way. But blame the person, who gave birth to us. She did this to us. I agree, you deserve better, but im way beyond that." 

___

there was wayyy more written but i refreshed the page 💔. if ill think of more, ill add it. its silly but i like the concept.