The church lady

Last year was hard asf. It was my senior year in HS and I was always tired.

I live far from the school (and university too, btw) and it take a 1 hour bus trip to get in time. One day, I was so fucking tired that decided skip some classes and come back home earlier. When I was leaving the bus at my stop, I noticed that a elder lady also got off the bus and she was so lost and confused. She was dressed with one of those long sleeve long skirt dresses that these crazy pentecostais churches are famous for in the middle of spring, it was 40ºC (104 fahrenheit) and the sun was merciless. The dress was bright orange and thick. 

Now, thats important: I'm a trans man and here in Brazil these churches are known to be extremely conservative (and transphobic). I know that if this lady knew me better, she probably would try to convert me or say some pretty fucked up shit, or both. When I saw her, I knew it.

I aproached her and asked if she was ok. She said that she missed the stop.

I asked if she was going to a especific church and said its name. She asked how I knew and laughed. 

I took her to the bus stop where I knew the bus would drop her in front of the church. She said "God bless you, ma'am", I said "you too, Ms." and went home, walking more than I expected for the day.

I obviously don't regret helping her. I would do it again, in the same circumstances.

But sometimes, like rn, I catch me thinking that she could see this as a miracle or something. She don't know and will never know. I wish she is ok, I wish her not to be one of those crazy conservatives. I wish someday talk to her and found out who she is. I wish that this day meant more for me than for her, it would hurt less if she doesn't think about me as most I think about her. Mostly, I wish she didnt got in the wrong bus bc of me or missed the stop again.

This one lady, in less than 20 minutes, gave me something to ponder for the rest of my life: we never know the people around us and it feels good to be a kind stranger.