Day 7 of being a lobster

I was watching a movie last night. No time to tweet. Well I always have time to tweet, I meant to write no time to blog. Why don't I just backspace? Anyway I've got a morning routine to get to. I'm gonna skip Journaling because this is just that. "I didn't know you journalled? You never mention it!" I do journal and the ramble sections are usually based on journal entries for the day or something else whatever. Anyway, the movie I watched. It was 

So Anyway prepare for me to sqy today today today when i mean yesterday. 

Reading - listen... this is unheard of from me... I forgot. Or not that I forgot actually rather, I just didn't. Not that i didn't want to, I really wanted to. But like I had the copy of Malcolm x, I got my little sticky tabs and I sit down to read then i fell asleep. Bad idea btw. I was tossing and turning all night. So yeah I didn't read yesterday.

Write - I wrote but only for a half an hour. Me if I was half the person greep was: only a half an hour. I'm working on a review. And guess what... my goat, my writing goat wants to read my story. I'm touched, if i had tears left, I'd cry. Now I need to lock in. For most of what i write, I imagine my goat reading it and he's like someone talk this kid well but really im learning from him.

Exercise//Health- yeah this was eh. Idk we can talk about it in the media tab. But like j wasn't the healthiest. I kinda skipped lunch and shit which THATS NOT GOOD and i had a good breakfast but i didn't enjoy it.

Language Learning - this went well. I found this channel on YouTube that just does interviews to help you learn Spanish and they ask random people on the street to answer questions so you get a lot of different dialects.

Media - CW!!! FOR THE FIRST PARAGRAPH!! SEXUAL TOPICS//ED I'll abridge it tho because I feel like some people would still read even when they're not supposed to.

I watched a movie called The whale and it was a hard watch. I didn't like it a lot either because the way it opens is like just gross. Not that the main character is gross or the act of masturbation is either but like okay the first image you get is him pleasuring himself and that sat with me wrong because what are you aiming to convey through this? What do they want you to feel? Disgust. For that to be the first image we get of him, the first time we see him, they want us to view him as gross for no other reason than he's fat. Opening and closing scenes are very important in movies. Can a scene make or break a film? Maybe if it's in the first or last act and sexual scenes are also like very iffy, if you ever wanna offer commentary on one of those, just like ask yourself, what does the director want me to feel? What elements of film support this theory? Am i feeling what rhe director wants? Yes? Then it's effective. No? Then it's ineffective. That was very effective but i don't like the message!! Damn, okay I'm stopping myself. Too many thoughts, I'm gonna start talking about how sex workers deserve better rights if I carry on.

SAFE ZONE!!!!!! 

You're safe again. The movie as a whole was very... shocking? They did a lot of things to shock you and disturb you. I asked myself why am I shocked and I couldn't think of any other reason than I had my own struggles with my weight and seeing someone go through that is difficult but like it's such a shallow depiction. It's never romanticized which is good but it's always meant to make you feel disgusted when he exhibits symptoms and that's gross! That's gross. The final act has a little more sympathy for him but it's kinda like "see you're actually bad for being disgusted even tho we framed him in a way that would intentionally make you feel that way" then every other Character was flat. To quote myself talking about this movie with someone "it's like every other character is cardboard but even cardboard has more weight to it" there was a really good scene neat the end like i mentioned. The Moby dick symbolism, im still thinking about it but I don't like it. The whale is the main character as in the Moby dick whale is the main character in the Whale. Due to his appearance he is treated like subhuman either vilified or infantilized which would be good commentary but even the director falls into these pits. Having cake and eating it too essentially. His daughter is Ahab because she's the one who demonizes him and I love their dynamic, ahab vilifies Moby dick but Moby dick isn't capable of realizing the damage he's done to ahab. Just like he doesn't know how he's hurt his family which is actually really good symbolism it's just the way it infantilizes him or vilifies him, HES A HUMAN, THE DIRECTOR SHOOLD TREAT HIM AS SUCH FIRST INSTEAD OF PULLING HIS BULLSHIT. I'm too heated.

Ramble - that was heavy. Let's walk light like Vince staples. I was going to pose the age old question of would you still love me if I was a worm but a lot of you already know me as moth and that's already an insect so ig not. Now the question which I pose and i shall let stew... are you a shrimp or a lobster. No... I will NOT explain. I think im a lobster and a lot of other people do as well but I have shrimp like attributes at times, at my core however, I am a lobster. Perhaps a very small one. Now your first thought may be to assume shrimps are bad and lobsters are superior but there are equals on the opposites of the cruspectrum. Size does not equal actual size btw a small lobster like me is a lobster but leaning more to shrimp side. So i ask again... are you a shrimp or a lobster??? 

Anyway, I have my morning routine to do. Would be meta if I wrote about writing this in my next blog.