I AM TOTALLY NOT SOCIALLY AWKWARD

So I believe I'll be offline this week because college started getting serious and stuff. So now I have some homework to do but whatever, blogging is more important.

GUESS WHAT. I interacted with people this week. People from my class. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!!!!!!! Honestly, I don't really feel like a part of the class, but just having a talk even if it's about the class is really amazing to me. Like, look at me being all sociable like I didn't create this blog because I felt like an outsider!! So happy about that.

At monday (yesterday) we had to make groups of four, and I never liked making groups because I ended up left out in school, but this time it was different. I got brave and called some people out and it turned out to be a good group. We had two boys and two girls and one of the guys just has a band?! And he showed me a Gorillaz cover because I was wearing a Gorillaz shirt?! And surprisingly it was a good cover, I usually don't like them. He is a cool dude but he likes Oasis so I'm not sure about him. The other dude was also cool, he's the kind of guy that talks with anyone if he has the chance, If I had the chance I would befriend him, you have no idea how much friends like this help people like me. Anyway, the other girl doesn't talk much, I kind of like her, she seems to be nice and is very intelligent too, looking foward to interact with her.

AND TODAY was the biggest level up on social interaction I've had in weeks. Basically, I was heading to the bus stop to go home after class, and there were 2 people from my class walking in front of me, I don't mind them and don't expect them to wave at me or something but guess what. THEY DID!!! And they actually stop walking so I can follow with them to the bus stop!!!! I know it seems weird when I phrase it like that but I'm really happy this happened. Continuing, while we're walking to the bus stop they start talking to me and we just start a natural conversation (obviously, the 2 people were the most sociable people in the whole class, they wouldn't stop talking, in a good way). We talk about class and what we liked about it, how we should walk together more often and I'm feeling so happy to be talking with someone at this point that I just agree.

Oh how it sucks to be introverted, I'm here writing about my social interactions in these two days and hoping this happens again because I can't live alone forever (especially with my friends going to the same college now and I'm still here in this fuckass campus). If you think I'm weird after reading this is because I actually am weird and socially awkward so these interactions matters so much to me. I can't help thinking people don't want me around if they don't reach out to me first. "Why don't you just reach them out first then?" Well, there's probably a name for this but I think if I start talking when no one asked for it, it's gonna be taken as rude or being intrusive for listening to people's conversations. The thing is, I can't physically start a conversation with someone I don't know without hating myself for it. That's why what happened today made me so happy, makes me feel included and that they probably want me around. It's like that vampire thing? They can only enter your house if you tell them so. I'm the vampire in this situation, and they let me in for a few minutes. It was nice.

Well, this is a long one. Bye.

Song of the day: Von dutch by Charli XCX