2025.03.11

[4:15pm] this morning i had anatomy where we just did more packets. then during study hall i went to a little thing in the auditorium where kids who went to my school and are now in college talked about their experiences starting college. i thought it was mandatory for all seniors but only like 6 other kids showed up lol. then i had ap macro where my bestie didn't show up bc her glasses broke and she doesn't have any contacts, which sucks for her because we learned a lot of hard stuff today. then i had lunch and it was gross so i didn't eat much. then i had math. we were just working on quiz corrections and studying for the test when all of a sudden i couldn't breathe. like i wasn't breathing. i suddenly got super hot and lightheaded, and i couldn't see anything. i thought, "this is it. it's finally happening. I'm having a pulmonary embolism." and i decided i was gonna wait a minute to make sure it was really happening bc i didn't wanna make a scene all for it to be false. and sure enough, about 30 seconds later i was back to normal. my heart was beating out of my chest, but other than that, i could breathe again and i didn't feel like i was gonna pass out. my theory is that it was either a mini emoblism if that's even possible, the placebo effect making me feel like it was happening since I've been paranoid about it, or i was just having a mini panic attack when i realized i wasn't breathing. either way it was not fun. i sat there staring off into space for a while after that, thinking over what could have just happened. anyways then i went home and had some chocolate milk while watching reels with my sister. im gonna study for math some more and probably shower. im going to the hospital again tomorrow so hopefully we learn exactly what's wrong with me then. i obviously have some clotting disorder paired with may thurner syndrome, which is already bad, but i wanna know like how to fix it and what my risks are and stuff. and if my clot is gone because after my little scare today i really don't wanna be at risk of getting a clot in my lungs again lol