Hello internet people ! !

Im feeling mentally very low, and the only thing distracting me are my daydreams and my thoughts. Im bored no matter what i do. When im with my friends the feeling goes away for a little but afterwards it just comes back. Life is harsh on me. My mother found my journal and asked if i meant what i was writing down, i said i didnt mean any of it but i do. She found it in my suitcase and read through it, i dont know what she read. Hopefully not everything. I hate her for it, she has done this before when i was younger. She snooped through my diary. I ripped out all the pages of my journal i wrote on and ripped them all to shreds. I cant even write down things in the safety of my own room in my personal journal. Do parents not know the word ''privacy''? God really has cursed me. My friend her stepsister got into trouble and isnt living at home right now, her parents mailed our coach and they (friend & coach) just talked about it. Ofcourse i feel bad for my friend but she always gets all the help and sympathy. I just dont like to talk about my problems with adults so only my friends know how i really feel but they truly dont care. I have no one to talk to so i write it down or blog like im doing now. I hate this school and class so much. They are all so loud and annoying. My friend keeps saying im not gonna pass this class if i dont do a certain thing. It scares me and also makes me very anxious and its so stressfull. I neglect my school work a lot. I have so many emotions to write down.

My friend really likes to compare herself to me, she esp likes to compare body sizes. I dont like it when she keeps bringing up her weight and how thin she is. She knows how much i struggle with my body and the way i look. We both have ED's but i have mine since im nine and she has hers since last year, she has/had ana so obviously people only worry about her. Im not thing enough to be worried about haha.