the holy trinity

sometimes i realize that i am only a soul and this flesh prison encapsulating my thoughts prevents me from reaching the STARS 

sometimes I wonder if god destined me to be where I am today or somewhere along the lines he just forgot about me and moved on

men have a way of forgetting about me and moving on 

I cant remember the last time a man has made me feel okay and happy

maybe once 

maybe he makes me feel really happy 

I feel guilty about my joy though.. i feel like I deserve to burn because I'm happy

I realize that I'm not the first girl he's loved and I fear that I wont be the last 

I know I'm just a loser teenager and my emotions are being controlled by the LORD of my body ... hormones but 

what if I'm right 

falling in love , realizing the meat capsule surrounding my body is preventing me from true JOY , and the lack of bipolar meds 

that's my holy trinity.

one day I will rip through my flesh 

I will etch my self doubt on my body 

I will escape my cage and all that will be left of me is LIGHT 

trials to tribulations my friends