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i feel bad for whining all the time on spacehey i want to spread some happy news!!
i hate saying "oh i just dont know how to take breaks" bc i sound like those fucking wannabe workaholics which I find very annoying so i just want to clarify this is not me!!
i mean it more as in like...like i literally am not a workaholic bc i fuckin g hate work and so i dont do it i ignore it for a long time and doomscroll and just let my brain melt into a dopamine mush so I can ignore my responsibilities
but the thing with this is like it does nottttt help at allll!!! with the situation!!!!! but i genuinely just im just not sure how to destress especially in situations where I have 0 energy
like some ppl might say "go on a walk!" and yes thats actually a really good method but there are some days (today) where from the second I wake up to when I fall alseep I am so doomed and tired and gloomy the whole day. and on days like these i have no clue what to do with myself
I struggle out of my rot as much as i can like i write a todo list, i organize time blocks on google calendar but i dont follow it bc im forcing myself to write and plan and so i dont take the plans to heart
like im thinking "omg i have to destress bc if i dont im gonna be in this shitty state for a longer time" how?????????? how do i do that????????????????????????????????????????????
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Reasons why I cant destress (theory):
- I hate my work soooooo much. this is true. like sometimes when its soo overwhelming by amount or difficulty. I get so stressed by the thought I have to do it that Im placed in this "stress-lock" position
- Health. Drink water, veggies...clean stomach def matters w energy!!!!!! stretching and exercising. sleeping sleping!!!!!
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Honestly??? I honestly procrastinate so much so I always felt bad for saying this but i need to catch a fucking break. like just from being so overwhelmed from everything. im always so dismissive of this and it just makes me so fucking mad thinking about it rn like i am literally THE person who wsa here the whole time feeling that shitty 2~4 pm depression feeling ALLLL the rot and fatigue and everything yet I cant give myself a single piece of empathy. r u fucking srs. and im trying to be optimistic like "ugh its ok itll get better just keep trying and itll get better" BITCH SHUT UP. WHAT THE FUCK EVER. ALSO. all my teachers' kids seem like theyre enjoying life like all these white ppl ugh /pos. Like honestly???? maybe I can catch a fucking break. Maybe i was actually wrong about being wrong because I always thought I was too whiny and Im always whining and im so annoying but like literally this has been a problem for definitely over a year so maybe i was wrong!!!! like maybe its just fine to not gaf like idfk anymore..ughjhh
its all about balance at the end of the day balance of everything
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Need to figure out how to enjoy or feel something more for the things I do so they dont always look like a pile of just things to do. Or else im gonna be miserable for the rest of my life like my dad. but that takes so mcuhhh effort though like to like work how do u do that. I hate physics I hate math i hate lit all of these classes are so insanely annoying art has such a tight deadline i just like econ!!! thats it i like econ bc its easy to udnerstand and i can just talk and chill w my friends and like my teacher!!! but i fucking ahte everything else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
even if i think at the end of the day "oh im gonna do better tmr i'll exercise and all fo that" it does not mean SHIT if u cant actually take in that vow on the actual day u plan to do it. So that means take things seriously!!! u ahve to
i need togo to bed im gonna die
tmr will be a better day but also i cant guarantee anything i just wish i can stop being mad at myself and just sleep well and like just literally believe in the fact that everything LITERALLTY WILL BE OK. what is so ahrd about this???
Comments
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JustAlex
I also hate work so much but I just tough it out cause I hate complaining I hate sounding whiny, who am I to say my stuff is harder than others. To “de stress” I usually just think on my bed or chair, it sounds stupid but I reminisce a lot about my favroite times
francis, fran
oh also i usually go for two weeks of straight tiredness and sadness and then one day i'll wake up feeling really nice and then i'll be productive and it's just like okay so it's just rng
francis, fran
another thing i've discovered: "destressing" doesn't really work. i mean obviously you need to reach a more focused, calm, and generally content/peaceful state to work for long periods of time. but unfortunately humans are not just steam engines that need to release pressure every now and then.
i will say, i've done really perfect runs at destressing but with no serious benefits. like, all i did was practice enough self control to read a book or lie in bed with my eyes closed and like maybe eat healthy food. but i didn't get much mood improvement, i just sorta remained mildly shitty as the hours ticked by.
for me it kinda helps to be productive without thinking about deadlines. like, if i sit down at a coffee shop and do 2 hours of ochem homework/studying and ignore the fact that i have so many other pressing things to do i can actually feel good about myself.
but more to the point: destressing doesn't always do much because it relies on your ability to make yourself happy enough to tackle work again... which is like already the problem
ya ur right..like its def one of those capitalistic vision u put on urself
thats actually pretty solid advice like I feel like writing a todo list helps with keeping things in on e place and organized but sometimes its just SO overwhelming with the lists and lists of things to do
its def important to take things one at a time...
by Jegg; ; Report
francis, fran
this is so #relatable with me
after reading this i think we're like legit the same person
this is the thought train i've been on lately so i'll share it in case it helps at all: maybe it's just not possible for you to have a decent average happiness AND be productive. like, one necessarily sacrifices the other. therefore you get the shitty middle ground where you're relying on 'unhealthy' 3rd party sources of satisfaction like doom scrolling that just generally suck. and you get worse because like your life is based on achievement / merit / school system / whatever. you feel????????????????????????????
idk im tired we in the same fcking area you prbably feel me
YEAH LITERALLY. Like I guess those two things cant coexist. I honestly just never realized how crazy impossible that is. in my mind i had this idealized goal of being a person with a perfect balance of everything but that goal is feel more further and further away btw. tbh?? like its kind of hard to find any kind of balance. at least for me thats the case. Like maybe i find some sort of balance one day, but im always tipping away side to side from that point like the majority of my life. I honestly feel like im honestly a different person everyday which kind of is true technically. Its like how am I supposed to find balance of ANYTHING when I feel like theres always these flux of things?? its like asking to find balance on a rope hanging in the air while its windy
by Jegg; ; Report
well it's like
being happy is already by default pretty hard
so being happy and trying to achieve a lot in life is even harder
especially if you grow up thinking that one gives rise to the other and then you have to deal with untangling your goals
the balance is too idealized... it may just be impossible
by francis, fran; ; Report
Jegg
im a little all over the place w my emotions rn bc its late and im sleepy lie today wasnt even a bad day
need to go to bed asap!!!!!!bye