Day 2 of washing up on shore and yearning

I'm late. I'm sorry I'm sorry!!! The conversation I was having turned to literature for some reason and I got distracted. Today wasn't so productive though. I got my shit done though. Or some of it. What mattered atleast. Okay some of what mattered. My internet is crapped out so I'm just typing this out on my notepad, I'll reply to the two comments in the morning... MY INTERNET IS CRAPPED OUT. no hard feelings, I could never ignore Moth fan stans! I SEE YALL! I see you! I got a book recommendation and I almost picked it up but... we'll get to that actually. 

Language - I did my duolingo and I'm in the promo zone! Shits about to go down. Im telling you, we're moving up a rank or two... actually just one. Anyway. I watched a Spanish or it was a vlog in Spanish about this woman graduating college and it felt a little personal like why are you filming this. She spoke too fast to understand anything but i tried, dawg. There's actually dedicated channels for this though. Like there's one where a woman vlogs but also teaches Spanish at the same time so you can learn and one with no subtitles but they speak in a way that makes you learn without translating. Lmk tomorrow and I'll send you the links... BECAUSE MY INTERNET IS DOWN so i can't drop them below. Do you think that's restrictive though? Like you can't use the language like you want to because you're teaching. Idk i feel like if you do content in another language, a lot of your audience will be from people wanting to learn the language instead of being interested in the blog but I could be wrong. 

Writing - 0 writing done today. I'm prepping a super secret project and I hope you'll enjoy it when it comes out. The most writing I did was this, Journaling and thinking about my writing project. I do want to give some advice though! I've been reading the Stephen King novel on writing when I haven't read his other books and I like it. Anyway, we'll talk about this to a greater extent at the end but he talks about writing as an organic process a lot. This is like real. Think of it like you have your tools, you don't know what you're going to build with them but you're not the architect so you dont decide that. Fate, inspiration, your muse, your subconscious drafts the plans for you. That's the joy of writing, you don't know where it's taking you. Stephen King actually said he wrote himself into the shining as Jack. Did you know Stephen King drank mouthwash. I love that fact. It's actually so sad though. Anyway, yeah you never know, maybe you write yourself into your stories without knowing and I think writing is about learning about yourself and growing though it depends on your reason for writing though. Mine is to learn, it's an outlet for me. I tweeted like if I'm ever sad don't check on me, I write my feelings out and I'm paraphrasing but the original tweet was just as corny as you think it is.

Reading - I finally exchanged my book. Shit ass novel. Shit book. I'm talking about Tale of Two cities by Charles dickens btw. I mentioned earlier, a commentor mentioned a book i should read by C. S Lewis if i remember correctly (see, I see you!! [I see you too, ISCARIOT but your comment was too long, I'll respond tomorrow {prayer hands <such confusing syntax>}]). Anyway, I had my hand on the book the commenter recommended, my finger to the spine and then I saw it... Malcolm X autobiography... my black whale book. Malcolm X would NOT want to be compared to a white whale, I'll tell you that much. Its too dark to check my annotations but I marked them down. I spent a little more money on it but I got some money off so worth and even if I had to lay down my whole wallet I think that book is invaluable. I'm actually so just thankful to be able to put that book on my shelf. 

It's a rich book and you should read for yourself but I would like to unpack one piece of it at a time in every blog where I read and don't worry when you read, 90% of the book will be fresh to you. It's just that rich. And lastly, the book is very much about his perspective, nobody else's but his own and it's important to realize that because some parts of this book age so poorly. There's a great video I want to point you to once you've read the book and it's a critique of it from a feminist perspective and that's a very important perspective. Especially black feminism, that's why I always shout out Angela Davis. So yeah Malcolm, he's not uninformed, he's wise, very intelligent but that's because he's a quick learner not because he did loads and loads of research he did research but has so many blindspots. It's unreal.

Okay today we're unpacking this line. It stuck out to me about violence. He said he always knew that his end would come through violence and he's always been prepared. Later on, he mentions how he's got a 6th sense and nothing could catch him off guard completely and that's crazy because like he did die due to an act of violence. He was assasinsted. But also he probably said that line because he grow up surrounded by violence, his father was killed at a young age, when he was young racists burned down his house, as a baby, while his mother was home alone with him, kkk members broke their windows in and tried to drive them out of town or actually I think she was pregnant with him. Violence is what he knew growing up there and in the time he did. So that tells us something very important as well, his beliefs are informed by his lived experience so not to excuse any of what he says and feel free to critique some of his beliefs but don't discredit the book completely and don't forget that what he believes comes from somewhere even tho yeah some of it is wrong but we can unpack some of that later. 

Exercise//Health - I exercised a bit. Mostly leg day. Only leg day. My leg isn't sore anymore so why not? I had my usual oats. I bought chocolate oats btw. Anyway my oats were apple cinnamon flavored and I could taste the cinnamon but not the apple. I put apple yogurt in this morning so that helped. I'm excited to try the chocolate one. I've also still got cake which I need to eat before it goes off. AND BASKETBALL FRIDAY!!! I don't watch every game, I love watching Fridays though. I'm a little upset. We'll get to it in the next segment.

Odds and ends - oh I remember what ISCARIOT said or one thing. The candy crush thing. And to that I say I need to appeal to the moms... but also I'm addicted. 70 levels in two days... did you guys know the man who sings motorbike on the new sound is sooooo hot. He has this voice that could make me weak in the knees. Anyway, I bring that up because I'm listening to the new sound. I only have that and Solace downloaded. Ooh moth what's solace? You wonder... probably the single saddest song I've ever heard. WOULD YOU LOVE SOMEONE LIKE ME IF YOU KNEW YOU WOULD NOT GET CAUGHT. I love that song. Anyway. What else. Went grocery shopping! I got scolded by the security guard because I went to fetch a cart and I was carrying an item without realizing and he thought I was shop lifting.

Went wine shopping. I love driving there. The wine place looks like something out of disco Elysium. 

That's about it. Oh... uhh yeah my cousin is visiting tomorrow. Not the cool one, the edgy one. Pray for me, sing about me even. Promise that you will sing about me. I've cousin-locked someone already into keeping me company while we hang. I'm not looking forward honestly. 

Ramble section - remember what I said about Stephen King, well do yall ever write yourself into your OCs? I realized that's what I've been doing. And I'm scared to share my story because it's me. And i put some of my flaws on the forefront. It's based on the new sound by greep and I didn't even notice it was me but like the fact that the character is an Ex-sailor should give it away. Let me give you the basic premise please. So his name is Sailor, he washes up on this resort. His ship gets wrecked and he's got literally nothing. His clothes are burned, he can't get a job because his documents are burned, his money is burned, he's the sole survivor and all he has are scars and injuries and the name sailor. If you're wondering in the case of a shipwreck to get the documents back is a long process because like first how did you lose them? Shipwreck. Oh what caused the wreck? A fire as indicated by the burns. Is it foul play? Or mutiny or was it an accident? Would sailor be suspected since he's the only survivor? Yeah you see? Anyway he washes up and he turns to alcohol and then meets this girl. I just thought of Maria name is a work in progress, she's a lady of the night who moved to where sailor is staying and he hires her one night to sort of perform as someone who isn't super lonely and he falls for her by mistaking her interest in him as romantic interest. I really love the new sound. Can you guys tell? What sparked this was the sequence at the end of Holy, Holy. It just, it's so real. Like the song is fun and all and then greep starts going "i want you to look at me as if I'm attractive, I want your eyes to say take me" and like I'm not yearning but when i was, I didn't care who found me attractive, I just wanted to feel that way. Anyway woah... too deep. 

I've got a lot of OCs who I don't have a story for though which kinda sucks but I'll work on that. 

Anyway, it's late. Good night!!