cosmic attraction

i want to be loved softly and not at all. your care should be infinite and i will never touch it; you will give it to me like putting out a cigarette on my neck and it will burn and i will beg for it all the same, on my knees with a little too much written all over me and you will look away. you will look away because i ask, because i swallow the words and chase them with your spit before i speak them and i blink away the tears before they spill over. it isn’t enough for you or for me, and if i understood the quirk of your mouth or the flicker in your eye maybe i’d know whether you’re fine with it. i crave more and keep it all out of my reach anyway. somewhere in the cracks i’ll find heaven again.