2 months of boiling like a lobster and no tan to show for it

SOOOOOOOO, im back asshats and uhm asshattettes, and asshathems/theys? Whatever, not the point. After drowning due to the ever-increasing humidity (thanks for that, pollution), I decided to return to spacehey, not out of some sense of grandiose belonging, but because I. Am. Bored. 

Writing here does give me some sort of outlet to whatever is happening in my life, not like I have any super cool stories to tell, I haven't been bit by a radioactive dick and suddenly gained the abilities of a uranium infused cock, but I can slander and praise everyone around me in a way that best portrays my horrendously over active imagination. Rainbows and unicorns, that crap. 

So starting with a short summary of my summer:

It started with an immense heat, with me sweating my ass off while being flash banged every fucking time I decided to step outside. Which you know is just sort of a fuck you from whatever force controls the light levels of the sun. I mean really, I already have blue eyes, I can hardly look at my phone without having to shield my eyes, being forced to wear sunglasses every time I go out because of the sunlight reflecting off the immense quantity of bald men in my area is just purely unprofessional, and frankly just plain favouritism. 

The middle bit was rather uneventful, there was Christmas, but that's merely an excuse to eat like a pig and drink more than you should. New Year's wasn't much better either, it consisted of more drinking. WHICH, actually, is a rabbit hole in itself, because how the fuck are there so many people that do that shit for fun? You feel bubbly for the first hour after starting, before it sharply drops off into sloppy, uncensored bulshittery that no one honestly wants to deal with. 

Lastly, it ended with what was probably the fastest month and a half of my life. Safe to say whoever said the last year of school was easier than the previous one was LYING OUT OF THEIR ASS. I swear people just say that to mess with you, and you know what? I can't even be mad, I respect the hustle. 

Till next time, freakazoids