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so like......... once i do it right cuz okay internet i'm gonna confess and i'm gonna confess it publicly like that makes it any better so it's gonna b super awkward and weird but yea i'm super depressed!! and it's hard to get through even if i do productive things or don't procrastinate, because i realized that i don't even feel happy when i'm actually living. I feel frustrated and horrible recently and i don't know if it's seasonal depression or if i just wanna fucking die. I did things, and i felt good being productive, i loved the end result of what i did, but love doesn't equal to wanting to feel like i want to live. I don't know, i just don't feel it. But i can't kill myself yet, so here are my ideas.
- dying at 27
this one is super iconic cuz there's a bunch of people who have died at that age and they're in a club it's like a conspiracy thing or something but it's cool cuz amy winehouse was there and she predicted dying at 27 so yeah
-killing myself and recording it online
oh yeah this one is a BIG star one.. like if i ever decide to record my suicide i guess everyone on the internet gonna see first how i fucking blow my head kurt kobain style or hang myself but hanging is kinda mid so i might do something super gorey or somethng bucz it makes me become self aware of myself
-slitting my wrists
i feel like this is the most basic-est one, like i'd cut but just for cutting and actually doing it i don't plan on dying by cutting my veins cuz that's so basic
-getting a od
i feel like this is such a cool one like i'd be such a fucking bad bitch for dying this way plus i'd die on the most fucking manic trip and it's kinda fun cuz i have thought lots abt wanting to od bad or get high so i might crush up my medicine or something lol
-throwing myself from a high building
ohh this one is like... adrenaline inducing. Like i am a huge wimp of heights and it would just be a fucking fear jump as i'm dying but it'd be kinda cool specially if other people see me cuz the trajectory of their lives will be changed forever as they see me crash the fucking ground and explode away like a ragdoll or something
-gunning myself
ok this haves various chapters. like doing it with a cheap gun is kinda boring but more on the kurt kobain style of suicide that would just be so fucking cool like blowing my heads and putting it online?? bitch you know i did an impact. I sound seriously edgy rn but i don't know what the shit i am saying but honestly it's kinda surprising or maybe i have to think of a more creative way like hanging myself on public or some shit like that but i can't rlly think sooooo whateverrrrrrrr
i mean, if i EVER do go through with it. I am a really big wimp as always for everything so ofc i have fear of killing myself but who knows cuz the only thing holding me is people around me so maybe once i am truly entirely alone and no one remembers me it might be one way out
sorry for being so manic maybe uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this just doesn't have any explanation i don't care
so i drew, and here is it
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francis, fran
oh also i tend to binge poems like these
https://youtu.be/Iy4cEW15SdE?list=TLPQMDcwMzIwMjV1U9VrMCIRAA
francis, fran
cute drawing, i like the expression and the outfit you put on them as well as the design of the background being your name and username... very you-core.
mine is a bit of a petty one... i want to jump off the side of a cruise ship or a ferry and drown. but i want the last thing i see is the abyss of the ocean and i want to know that my body will drift like a plastic bag long after i die. and i want to have the panic and total engagement as my body tries to live. because only then i'll know whether or not i regret it. or maybe my resignation will be so total and complete that i simply breathe in as much water as i can and die quick.
hope you're okay.
I feel like the main key about this is being petty and i mean i feel like that's a rlly good death BUT i am on a petty mindset with this one so if i ever happen to i'd want everyone to see it, i want the whole world to see my death and to be affected by it and realize what happens when society is way too harsh on a individual
but thank u a lot!! i love this drawing even if making it didn't feel as good as always, frustration got to me
by Haru_min˚ʚ♡ɞ˚; ; Report
Jegg
i am literally. on the same fucking page rn. like i feel like february has been going for 20 years and ive been feeling like im stuick in this shitty timeloop where ntohing gets better even if i try brah. YOU ARE SO REAL FOR THIS!!!!!!!! but at least the weather will warm up soon...at least where I live its been warming up bit by bit already
This is probably media's influence but I always though oding would be such a baddie way to go like u said...like its smth that would come straight out of thirteen
I don’t know in which unstable way I can keep trying but I’m sorry for being manic at least the weather is gonna get better so yay but I kinda like cold weather better so it’s fine
Isn’t that so hot how the media induces u to be a hot and die young or something it’s so creepy but kinda iconic in a way idk
But like I don’t know we’re still living so ???? That’s that????
by Haru_min˚ʚ♡ɞ˚; ; Report
literally almost everyday for me is some kind of manic episode lol!!! I'm a supporter of haru crashouts!!!1!
not in like a purposefully induce it kind of way but more of a it makes u more authentic kind of way if yk what i mean
i cant tell if we subconsciously chose to let the media influence us to detach ourselves from our problems or if the media just actively influences us in general lolz but its all fun so thats what matters!!
by Jegg; ; Report
thank u Jegg like you’re really getting it and I was worried that my point would entirely fly across the room because I wrote this shit when I was feeling bad mentally obviously so like I mean!! It’s not easy !! But like I know it kinda sounds destructive but I’m not just putting it for being erratic and horrible I just let the situation of my feelings out
I’d rather to not be this way but I guess that one way or another we all keep trying I don’t know how to go through things right about now so thank god you understand it
Maybe for me it’s more of the fact that the mind itself chooses to want to relax because it wants the minimum effort so detachment. I didn’t even realize until recently sleeping all day long was a detaching coping mechanism
by Haru_min˚ʚ♡ɞ˚; ; Report
BasedGod
Personally I'd never kill myself cuz I see it as a waste of potential and a chance that most people dont have but I aint gon sit here n try n control u, js know ill remember u n ur fire art gang
Oh okay you’re kinda right anyway but I can’t figure out what I mean or feel so thank you for remembering me cuz ur cool so I’m
Keep ur promise on remembering me or something thanks
by Haru_min˚ʚ♡ɞ˚; ; Report
I gotchu Haru, ion think people are truly dead if they aren’t forgotten
by BasedGod; ; Report