Struggling

My relationship is honestly struggling. I love her but I've started to question my sexuality. I made a new friend recently but that friend is not the reason i started questioning it. I've been questioning it for a while but with more arguments where I've been told I'm the problem again and again makes me. I understand that in my relationship i struggle because i'm dumb with a partner who has bipolar. I love her more than anything but i'm seriously struggling. I feel pressured to stay because i know that if i do leave her then my life will be messed up, Rumors will be spread, my job life and life in general will be messed up. I've gotten better with some stuff but nothing seems enough and i'm just so tired, we both are. I love her but I've just been questioning my sexuality because i feel like i might be closer to gay but I've been told and i know i wont find the same love as a trans man. I want to love and have love to give but i'm seriously struggling. My girlfriend doesn't deserve this.. And i'm sorry, I love her but I just feel like i like guys more. I feel bad and I get that I should but I seriously cant get out or express how confused i am sexuality wise. I need help I cant get.