this morning 👎👎👎👎

this morning i tried to pretend to be sick again butttt it didn’t work ugh my dad said i had to go, i was taking a long time to get ready so he went ahead and brought my siblings to school and went to work so my mom would have to bring me. i was feeling really bad this morning and was having trouble getting up, my mom came to my room like blah blah i can’t believe you’re crying like this nothing in your life is sooo bad that you should be so upset everyone has to do hard things you know how you can’t made yourself feel like this if you’re feeling upset you know you gotta regulate it like take a walk or drink a cup of tea! you need to choose to feel better!!…. thanks mom, i never thought about that i can just decide to not be depressed!! but seriously, does she not think saying things like this will make everything worse?? i already have soooo much trouble validating my own feelings, i always feel like there’s no reason to be so depressed my life isn’t even that bad right? so i’ve been trying so hard to validate my feelings but when she says things like that it completely backtracks all my progress and i feel like a failure again. it took me like an hour or so to collect myself and i had no choice but to go to school, where i’m writing this now still from the bathroom because i’m still crying. literally kmrn