I am Alive and Being Weird is Cool I Think

Summary: Brief emotional update, I bought a journal, I talk about niche identities. |||

Helloooo, it's been a while since I've said anything here. I had intended to write on the 15th but it ended up a bit Personal for my tastes, so I had scrapped the post.

The last few days have felt like an odd transitional period, I'd spent quite a while boiling in primordial distress over trivial matters, but over the past ten days I've found myself with a new Peace in my mind. Fun Stuff, let's not talk about my emotions for too long though.

The other day I managed to obtain a journal, I normally wouldn't purchase such a thing but she was hiding between the rows of unorganized thrift store books. She stuck out to me when I noticed the lack of any title upon her spine and to my surprise there was what appeared to be a completely unused journal reselling for two dollars directly in the middle of all these other "more talkative" books. Since her design captivated me, our meeting felt like a rarity, and I had felt I'm emotionally competent enough to upkeep something like that now, I bought her- It. I know it's a book, guys, I've been calling it a pronoun because I Feel Like It and that doesn't need to be addressed. Now moving on..

I've decided to take a different approach to this one, a lot of my former, digital diary attempts have fallen flat as I do don't very well in isolated first-person speaking. Like yeah ok I already know what I did today, I don't need to reformat my internal dialogue to an internal monologue just to carry it in my phone. I feel there's nothing to say if there's no one to hear it, so I've chosen to approach Her as a Friend and I've immediately had a better experience with the process because she'll listen to me. I've only been able to do this for about two days so I can't be all too certain on how well it works but if the concept sounds like it would suit you I'd suggest giving it a try. Cringe may not be dead but that is why we fight it.

I was about to sit here and describe her appearance but then I realized around the middle of my mental script that I sounded like a straight man writing a woman. So then I remembered Objectum people.

I have many periods where I am reminded of various subgroups with "Weird" identities. In a former post when I chose to write with the assumption that anyone reading identified as a Human I briefly remembered the nonhuman but chose not to address it as I am unfamiliar with the nature of this platform and did not know how silly such an accomodation would make me look. And Now I'm about to make myself Very silly.

When i was 13-17 I tried to put a lot more thought into such things when it came to myself but as I aged I grew demotivated to attempt expressing myself in any non-normative way. The way I feel regarding Gender seems to cling to emotions and demeanor then change by the hour so I quietly retreated away from that, a substantial disconnect from humanity lead me to lingering on the concept of otherkin a few times, I don't think I'm mentally capable of fully processing sexuality in the way a person even a few years younger than I should so I hesitate to select an orientation, and on top of all of that I now find myself being more intimate with an object than I thought I could be and I have to put another dollar in the "Why Am I Like This" jar. First person to armchair diagnose me with autism gets a FREE Lobotomy! Click Here.

Despite keeping myself locked in Gay Baby Normie Jail I actually have quite a bit of reverence for the "Strange". This planet has many interesting individuals upon it and I see no reason why everyone must strive to fit the same form. If you happen to label yourself with any niche identity labels l, I'd like to hear. Be it a simple list or how you came to adopt them, I think what you define as your Self is worth as much time as anyone else.

~ <>