Entry #70

hai, been wanting to talk about this all day but ive been putting it off thinking it wasnt worth talking about, but i just cant stop thinking about it. i think roughly 2 days ago, i was returning into my Hypnos research for some reason, i dont remember what triggered it. i had been doing research all day, getting excited about it. now, I am an Apollo devotee, and from what ive seen he gets SO fucking jealous any time i pay attention to any god that is not him. so later that night i got on overwatch with a few friends, then my friend started raging and then just left mid match. so i waited a bit thinking id get an invite again, but i didnt. so, i just got off. but then, i saw he was with our friends we were with and just didnt invite me, so ill be honest and i started freaking out thinking he was mad at me for some reason since i had no idea what i could have done to make him just mad at me, but i didnt bother and slept on it. i wake up to still no text from him, so i decide to write down a prayer (i feel awkward reciting my prayers aloud) for him to stop being mad at me, asking Apollo if i did anything wrong and that i was sorry if i did. then a few hours later, he texts me saying he slept all day and stuff and at that point didnt care that he played without me. so i was happy, and now assume that Apollo is happy and i cant help but feel as if it really was that shit that happened with Hypnos or whatever, but maybe im superstitious. though, im also confused on the random interest in Hypnos. well about maybe a year or two ago i had an interest with him and saw him in my dreams a few times, then it passed. though now the sudden interest feels so random, especially when i have been putting off making a video about him since i lost all of my recording and resources, so im confused with all the sudden Hypnos intervention and how to deal with it while also having Apollo to worry about.