blEh >_<

hullo! :p

i am going to try to write little reflection posts at least once a month because i think it would benefit my mental health idk >.o

currently, my hands are sweating like crazy and i cannot stop fidgeting, but the worst of today has passed i think. it is hard to not isolate myself when Trauma rears its ugly head. idk if other cptsd/ptsd people feel that way -- or like it's better for everyone if you disappear. I know that's not the truth, but it feels like that sometimes. :<

Sometimes I feel like everything in my head is too confusing for even me, let alone others, so I'm usually hesitant to talk about all of it. I don't want to be misunderstood, or worse yet, understood and hated for the way I feel. 

But, alas, I do not have ample time to explore these difficult feelings, as I have two midterms tmrw!!!! >_< i have to keep studying, lest I fail......

I am hoping to call my friends tonight, after I finish studying and showering. 

I also would like to journal a bit more, but this is very time-consuming, so that shall be all! Hopefully the next update will be happier :p

Much luv!

Ash xox