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one of the biggest issues i’ve faced in recent years is the fact i yearn for things that don’t exist, don’t happen and won’t happen.
for the longest time i saw myself as a hopeless romantic - yearning for something, a concrete idea of love that i wanted to fulfil. this idea fell short, when i in fact noticed i had nothing to yearn for, nobody to yearn for, and that my small dream of living “the perfect romance” was something, in the short term, unattainable.
but i still yearned.
i yearned for someone i couldn’t have, for the longest time possible. i thought to myself “maybe this is love, the fact i just can’t give up on someone” … and blindly came to the conclusion that yes, i need to continue yearning. this is love.
just recently, after completing my 17 years, after being in countless relationships that never worked out, after living out my first true love and my first true heartbreak — that i wasn’t yearning for love. i wasn’t yearning for “the perfect romance”. i wasn’t even yearning for the person closest to me, no.
i was yearning for the reciprocation i had never felt within my friendships, i was yearning to be someone’s closest person and confidant, i was yearning for that unconditional love that comes with having someone to love, and to lose.
i was yearning to be seen, to be loved, and to have someone think of me the same way i thought of them.
i’m still 17 and i can’t define what love is. i’ve felt it, once, and only once, and i can’t help but still yearn for that same love i felt.
but i know now, that love doesn’t need to be perfect. that i can feel the love i yearn for in my friendships, although not perfect, and that there is no need to yearn for something unreal. i’ll feel the unreal someday, and there is no need to rush it.
february, 2025
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Quinn
this is so relatable, i had a friend who I loved so much, I truly did. but unfortunately, i know i can't have him, yet I continued to yearn for his reciprocation, his love, but i never got it. now i have sort of given up, so yeah i guess fate will decide.
benny
you took the words out of my mouth.
CuteNBloody
I so genuinely relate to you , but the thing is like i know there are people who care for me but i just want to feel like i am someone's one. Many people have told me that a relationship isn't going to fix anything and i need to focus on fixing myself first which is depressing honestly . I just daydream for hours on how it would be to have someone care for me just as much as i could care for them but it doesn't have to be romantic , i just want to be someone's one and i for a while i felt like i had that with this girl , but then she got into a relationship and all i felt is jealousy, like i am happy but why can i be the one she cared for just as much as i care for her , i yearn that she will care for me as much as ai care for her . TLDR YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND JUST HOLD ON THAT IT WILL HAPPEN , I have trust in you , dear. byeee <3
thank you so much, and i’m sure it’ll happen to you too. your comment was pretty much what i feel within my relationships, like it doesn’t have to be romantic but it would be nice just to have someone feel exactly the same way as you do for them. what happened to you happened to me as well and the feeling that comes after (being jealous and stuff) is something pretty weird and just makes u feel like a bad person overall 3
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siea ♡
this!!! love will find you if it's meant for you <33 i think seeing love all around us makes us want to attain the same thing as well but no good comes from rushing into things. but this made me feel so heard and called me out aswl i fear--i find myself crushing on people only for it to be a fantasy and not really that i want to be with them? it's so important to be constantly reminded of the fact that loving the idea of love and wanting to be loved is not the same as truly loving someone which can be a tough pill to swallow