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hey diary,
i write this in bed because i am physically too fatigued to sit up in a chair.
today i:
- got up at 7:05 and left the house at 7:10
- wore the thrifted prom dress to school today!
- studied for a test
- endured the school day and took the test
- listened through the setlist for my school's next show and made a spreadsheet for keyboard parts
- made some keyboard patches (like synths and stuff)
- laid in a patch of grass. it was windy and chilly but i was tired so i stayed there awhile.
- went home
- made a table of contents for all my spacehey blogs
- took a nap
- ate dinner with my family for the first time in 5 days. it was stressful because my dad was not very approving of me and said at the beginning that he'd talk to me about something after i ate. he did not even end up talking to me. so much anxiety for nothing...
- listened to some city-pop
- stressed about university and tuition
- learned a little bit of art tatum's tea for two on piano
- stared off into the screen
i thought about lots of random stuff today too. being really tired does that to me... i get lost in thought and detach from my environment.
i hope someday i have a roommate i really like. or a partner who lives with me. being self-sufficient is exhausting work. i think about this a lot. in a fantasy type of way... imagining that i had physical, face-to-face connection. i guess that's what family is supposed to do. whatever.
i've been so exhausted the whole day and now i feel so totally floating. just ambiently existing and resting is all i really want to do.
that's it from me. i think for now i'm gonna get some snacks and make an ice pack for my still broken right foot. on days like today my body always goes insomniac mode and doesn't fall asleep until 3 a.m. i'm still not sure why, it's something more to do with circadian rhythm than with habits or napping or anything.
p.s. my right foot is still broken and it aches.
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