it only gets busier | diary entry 2/19/25

hey diary,

today was difficult in a meaningful way. last night i actually slept at 4:30 a.m because i stayed up having a super fruitful conversations with a friend while sorting through a 'relationship red flags tierlist.' obviously the list itself was silly and we recognized the flaws inherent to red flags and ranking them on a list like that, but many of them led to really meaningful debate. 

my favorite part was trying to communicate to him how a guy might end up with primarily female friends in high school by being queer or gender non-comforming (e.g., me) and thereby being intimidated by most guys he shares classes with. my friend totally did not get this at all and it amused me how we struggled to understand one another. this meant accepting immutable differences.

today i:

• woke up at 7 and left the house at 7:10
• spent my morning talking to my teacher-friend about relationships and our romantic lives.
• endured classes on 2 hours of sleep
• took a chem quiz
• endured rehearsals
• slept in a somewhat hidden grassy area in my school. i wasn't really sleeping most of the time but it was really nice to just lay down in the sun and let my brain recuperate.
• endured more rehearsals
• went to a library with my band. we had a fairly productive study session. it was also just fun.
• while driving me home my friend played me the title track from sabbath bloody sabbath by black sabbath. now i'm listening to it in full.