dissociation

it's difficult to find worth in just doing when memories have evaded you for most of your life. derealisation for years at a time really robs you of any sense of who you were. i feel like a kid when i'm drunk because i don't know who i was as a kid.

i'm afraid that i'll forget who i am now.

sometimes i stay inside because i know if there's nothing to remember there will be nothing to forget.