2:40AM under the Wanning Moon

Public diaries/blogs are very cute to me! I love reading peoples blog entries and hope to give entertainment with mine as well :3

Nighttime embrace ~ Monday, Feb 17th, 2025 2:40AM,

I find the night to be exceptionally serene. True be told I am a bit frightened of the dark, but with my mood lights and lava lamp my room is usually colorful enough for a calm experience.

I know a lot of people love to be up at night. Free from worries or responsibilities. At least you should be. It's like 3am, whatever you're worrying about can wait till the sun rises. That's what I think to calm my anxiety usually. I'm typically a very anxious overthinker (shocker lol) and most nights I get 420 in order to escape that anxiety. It has helped a lot and really it's the only time I feel like a normal person, less embarrassed and able to fully unmask. It's amazing! I feel like I can both concentrate more and relax at the same time. Something I am never able to do sober. I hope to get "healthier" coping skills for now. But after 4 years in the military unable to be myself or just be even a little irresponsible, I'm cutting myself some slack XD

Anywho,

The day is an endless onslaught of anxiety and paranoia for me. The night however offers a wonderful escape. I don't have to work, study, clean, or put on a façade. I can just be myself and there is no one around to interrupt me. Even my partner lavishes the nighttime, we both enjoy our nights of parallel play (the act of doing separate activities while in the same space as another person). Nights are for thought. The best thoughts form at night and I'm a firm believer in that. We each give birth the an entire realm of subconscious creation and thoughts within the night as well; another great source of joy I get from the night. 

Now my dreams have mainly always been nightmares. But they are also so so VIVID. It feels like it's real life sometimes, other times its so vivid and fantastical I know I must be dreaming. My dreams are very bizarre and when I'm stressed reflect my conflict in the wildest ways. I used to keep track of them in my notes app for years. Maybe I will post them one day ♥

Do you like the night time? Tell me why or why not in the comments, I'd love to know!