life update (who cares but whatever)

i've been inactive on this blog in a while (this probably made you happy) so, now, for boredom, i'm wriding randoms thoughts of mine: like i think a lot, to much, that i forget everything easly, plus i think my social anxiety is coming back. i really feel pathethic, like... seriously? i also probably realised that i'm not in the school i want to be, i wanted to do human sciences or the scientific bio-medical, but i leaned over my parents' opinion and went to the artistic one (is not their fault, it is i who can't make a decision). i don't wanna be an artist or anything, i wanna be a doctor. also it doesn't get me, like i find it boring or something. thinking about it makes me feel bad and a failure: like i can't even choose what school i want to do, i can't think straight. i'm pathethic, delusional and useless. i can't improve, i suck. i don't have a motivation. i go to school especialy to see my friend, but his parents don't even like me anymore. i failed as a student, a friend, a son, a brother, a person and anything. i'm only good at eating to much, sleep and overthink. i only feel anger, anxiety and depression. the good thing is that i can't hurt myself: no metter if i try i can't, the other side of mine stops, after i decided to never harm myself anymore, but insted to hurt others, only if someone else made me feel bad, besides i only call myself the God, the Messiah and done, i'm better. in conclusion: i hate social life. have a good day and sorry for the shitty, pathethic blog. stay safe.