i just want to cry so bad(a jaded jagger vent)

i won't lie i am going to become a sappy serious mess but i need to get it out.

so i struggle with severe OCD, more specifically tourettic OCD, and for the past week i have had the worst tic attack of my life and idk what to do.

like i was just fine and able to function two weeks ago! and now i can't do anything without violently twitching, rolling my eyes when i don't even want to, making weird noises to soothe myself if i feel i don't twitch right, and other things that have made it so hard for me to even be on here because my tics get triggered by making graphics/typing out stuff. 

but i love being on here so much, and it kills me to have to take breaks simply because i cannot function. i love coding, i love making graphics, i love driving, and so many other things that have been so hard to do thanks to my tics suddenly worsening.

and i can't even go to my psychiatrist about this because she's on a two week vacation and will have to wait until fucking MARCH to talk to her about this. like i am so tired and just want this to end because i want to do the things i LOVE again without violently twitching our having sudden tics. 

anyways, i hope i can come back on here regularly soon without having such shit get in the way :( but who knows when they will go away? i just hope soon!

-jaded jagger xoxo