Good Afternoon

Today is another happy day but I'm feeling a little sad.

I've always thought that I'm doing a good job but I've realized that I tend to protect myself a little too much that when things happen I'm way more hurt than I should be.

I'm very sensitive, I do know that but it's not always that I encounter moments that make me realize this. I'm way too happy over simple things but when something small goes against my plan it depresses me so much. Today the class got divided into groups, I was in a group with 3 others and I thought I'll get along well but I guess it wasn't the same for them, I tried talking many times and helping them do stuff since our mission was cooking a salad, main dish and a dessert, and since this is something that I'm pretty good at I wanted to help as much as I could. But everytime I tried saying something I was ignored and they'd do the total opposite. At some point I thought "it's ok just forget about it" but when I saw all of them cooking, laughing and having a good time together I felt so hurt, they'd call each other but I never heard my name.at the end of the workshop when eveyone was done we sat to eat all together and they didn't even bother asking me if I could eat the stuff they made so I ended up being the only one who didn't eat anything and just sat stupidly there watching them have a good time together.

Only time I felt that maybe they don't hate me that much was when we sat at the table and the guy said why are you sitting at the end there and didn't mind me sitiing next to him which was not something I'm used to. Just now I watched the videos and pictures they posted on our class's SNS and they even cut all my videos... I really hate being there, I was worried all the time thinking I might cry anytime soon the teachers even saw my face and I hate the fact that this drew even more attention at me..

I guess I will not be particibating in any more activities with them.

Enough with all that negativity, I had some fun today, I went shopping with my family and although they're struggling financially I bought a hair mask I've been wanting for months hehe, also bought new shoes and some other stuff, I'm lowk happy.