Break

At around 3:30am, I check my instagram viewers and I come across a familiar person but a new account. It was my dreaded stepmother. I freaked out and blocked her immediately and mentally broke. I was planning to eliminate her and the rest of my family and pretty much had a psychotic episode. Shaking, rocking back and forth, repeating my words, the whole thing until 4am. I couldn't go to sleep until 4:30am because I was so spooked. I even fell asleep with my pocket knife in hand. I overslept again almost losing my shift for the day. I freaked out when I couldn't find my pocket knife. I eventually found it and hauled ass to get ready and go to work. Work got off to a rough start as one of the first few orders was marked as incomplete (which could pretty much fire me if it happens enough times). To further explain why, the customer did not provide the full address. I called support and they tried to contact the customer. The customer didn't pick up so I was instructed to drop the order off at a safe place. So I dropped the order off at the stairs of the apartment building that was listed (the building letter was listed but not the number). I told support about my concerns about the order being marked as incomplete but they said the call was recorded and I did everything I could so I can dispute the claim if it still comes up and I shouldn't be affected by it since again I did everything I could to complete the delivery. There is a lot of evidence backing me up this time (this is the second time an order was marked incomplete. A customer did not provide the correct address so I just dropped the order off at the place I thought it was. I did call support for that one too and that time we did get ahold of the customer but I still ended up at the wrong place and I didn't think I'd get screwed.) so I should be fine and if doordash still decides to screw me over, I can call and dispute it and it'll get fixed. Other than that my shift was alright. I even got to see one of my best friends. He's like a little brother to me and I love him so much. I think even just seeing him made my day and helped calm me down (my emotions were still out of whack all day but not as bad). My other best friends and even good friends helped me too. So did the music playing from my phone. A song that I had on repeat today was Survivor by Destiny's Child. It's such a good song and it gives me a reminder that I am gonna be ok no matter what happens. I also like War of Change by Thousand Foot Crutch. The song explains my feelings better than I can. That's why I love music. It explains my feelings better than I can. I'm so bad at explaining things because I was always made out to be the dumbass even when I had a valid point. I was also discredited and put down all the time so I kind of forgot how to have a proper conversation with someone without being awkward. That's all I've got for tonight.

Until tomorrow,

Lee Wilke