sleep paralysis

I have a mental disorder can be paired with sleep paralysis 

I can't sleep without getting touched 

I can't move

I can't stop it 

my memories torment me 

I get touched by these figures I don't know 

I can't stop them 

I cant move 

the memories of my assaults manifested into my paralysis 

I can't escape the touching 

not even in my sleep

I will never be free from the assaults 

can I even call it assault 

they aren't real 

but they feel so real 

I get touched 

I get touched by the figures 

the memories flood back every morning 

I can't escape the memories 

not even in my sleep 

I awaken 

I cant move

then I get touched 

I get touched 

I get touched 

I wake up in misery