2025.02.09

[10:00am] today has also been pretty slayful so far. i slept in, ate a yummy quesadilla for breakfast, watched some old loona performances, and played with my dog and foster kitties. my skin has been clearing up a lot recently which is good too. my mom says my first therapy appointment is on Wednesday and im a little scared. im not really sure what to say. anyways today i plan to shower, draw, and play roblox before the SuperBowl. im excited for our party because there is always a lot of yummy food. i have school again tomorrow with another socratic seminar, and i hope that doesn't ruin this good mood I've been in.

[3:00pm] it wasn't school that soured my mood but my mom. we are hosting a SuperBowl party today and every year we make a poster with a grid on it where people write their names after they put $5 in a jar and then when the game starts we put random numbers on each side of the table and after each quarter whatever the score ends in, the person with their name in the square gets money if that makes sense. well it was my job to make it again and i spend a very long time calculating how to make everything equal and semetrical and straight and pretty. i hung it up on the wall all nicely and then my mom goes "i don't know how this work. i don't get it. redo it." and i kept saying no im not going to, it makes perfect sense to everyone else, i worked really hard on it, etc. and she just said "whatever redo it because there will be other stupid simpletons like me who won't get it" like no you're the only one but ok. i redid it really quickly and my dad started drawing all over it and now it's all uneven and the tips of my markers are ruined because he was pressing super hard and then he wrote instructions on it that covered where the numbers were supposed to go. but apparently my mom likes that version better so whatever. i told her if someone asks who made it don't say it was me. its so bad and embarrassing and i worked so hard for nothing. my mom is lowkey stupid sometimes. im gonna put her in a home when shes older because no way im dealing with that again. our first guest just showed up so i guess ill go down and greet them and pretend all is well. also i didn't draw anything today because i just stare at the drawing and then go on reels lol. i need some gummies that give me motivation to do the things i love. just kidding the guest is my sister's friend that i hate. the same one that didn't let me eat my ice cream and kept giving me wrong directions and screaming and stuff. im gonna hide in my room for as long as i can. not drawing thought because sometimes my dad likes to give his friends a "house tour" every time they come and it's just going into our rooms and making fun of what we're doing and how dirty everything is. i don't want them seeing my drawing and making fun of them. every drawing my mom has ever seen for the past decade she's said is ugly and that she hates it. maybe ill play epic minigames or something. i could study for some tests i have next week but my mom said as long as i don't fail I'm fine, and that's easy for me. I've always been a straight A student so just putting in minimum effort gets me like a B