vent, Tigger warning SH

It's 11 at night and I can't sleep, every time I close my eyes I see the slits in my wrists and the blood seeping through my sleeves, each cut deeper then the next. Now I sit in bed crying as I went to see if my dad was in his room so I can talk to him instead I was faced with the stepmother telling me that it was late and I should have talked to my dad about it earlier, it wasn't a problem earlier and I need my dad. I felt bad for maybe waking him up so I didn't go talk to him. nothing triggered me the thought just popped into my head and now it refuses to leave.