ranting bc my parents are dumb af and I'm bored

Why why why do I have to be stuck in a toxic conservative christain household?? (No offense to anyone if you are christain, but my family sucks.)

So, basically, I'm lesbian and genderqueer. And, of course, WHOLE FAMILY is homophobic/transphobic. 

And, my father is the type of person who reminds both me and my younger sister that "You girls need to grow up and get a husband a raise a family" or "women need to get a good job and have children" or something along those lines almost 5 times every week. And, I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but it's just not for me. I don't see myself ever wanting to be tied down to a man and a family. But, if you are, power to you. 

Anyways, I've been working out recently and I've been feeling really good about my gender identity and my body. We've been lifting weights in my physical education class, and I've decided to keep doing weightlifting every year. Now, a few days ago, I was talking to my dad about it, and the conversation was going perfectly fine until he says "women need to work out to keep their femenine form". Excuse me??!! Fist of all, that not only makes me feel really bad about myself, but like, seriously? Why are you, a man, worried about how women look like that? Then, he has the audacity to say "plus, working out makes your chest bigger" (Not exactly what he said, but you get the gist. Also, working out your chest actually makes it flatter.) And when he said that I just stood their, not knowing what to say because it made me feel very awkward/weird. Like, wtf??

Idk, I have a buncha stuff my parents have done or said that is stupid/out of wack. My dad kicked a hold in my door once, and it's still there.

ANYWAYS

I've rececntly been thinking about changing my pronouns and gender identity. It's been kinda hard to accept the fact that I want to be trans because of my parents. I can't get a binder or anything, if I try to change my pronouns and they catch my friends calling me "They" or "Him", they'd kill me. 

I don't really know what to do, and my only option is to wait until I can move out (37 months.) 

anyways, wish me luck

Maybe I'll keep doing this blog thingy, it's kinda fun to rant like this.

baaii guys.