him

he said

"ure tigerchilding ur recovery ure telling yourself u have to be perfectly happy all the time,, and if ure feeling sad, ure fucking up. ure not really recovering."

"yeah," i whispered.

"thats not how it works." silence again.

"listen, let me tell u about hearts."

i rolled my eyes and scoffed, prepping myself for another woo-woo purehearted fucking buddhist story.

"no. real hearts. the heart as a muscle," he said boringly. 

"a healthy heart doesnt pump at the same rate all the time. that would actually be a really unhealthy heart. the healthiest hearts are adaptable, and the quicker they adapt, the bet-ter. when u start running, ur heart should ideally speed up quickly. then, when u rest, it should slow down quickly. its the same for ur emotions. when something really tragic happens, it would be weird if u were still happy, right? or if u just sat there with no reaction. when something tragic happens, u should be there with that pain, feeling that sad-ness."