2025.02.05

[9:00am] i lied. i crashed out last night and sent a huge text to my parents of all the times they've hurt and wronged me in my life and explained to them why I've been so depressed lately. they said they're gonna talk to me about it later today (im cooked) and send me to "counseling". in my big essay thing i wrote that i knew they were gonna sit me down to tell me why I'm invalid and wrong and they're gonna send me away to get fixed and normal, and i was completely right lol. the good thing is they are letting skip the first half of school today which is nice. i feel like things aren't gonna be the same after this and i guess it was bound to happen eventually. today is like the start of a new season in my life. everything is out in the open and now we're working to solve it. it's good that i finally came out about everything because i don't wanna leave for college with resentment towards my parents and they don't even know why. today im gonna work on my homework a bit but its hard because the book im reading doesn't have chapters so idk how to format all my stuff.i had also written in the text that if they wanna ask more questions and stuff they should do so in text because im better at communicating there than in person, yet they keep telling me they are gonna sit me down for a talk. i highly doubt they actually read it. i had also written that i now they're just gonna cherry pick the things they think are wrong and they seem to be doing exactly that.

[12:45pm] my mom sat me down and talked to me and it was evident she just skimmed through it all. i told her to read it again and she hasn't done it yet. she said she's putting me in therapy. she also said that i hold too much back and that its her first time being a parent. like yeah that's why i don't tell you when you hurt me? i don't wanna hurt you back. sorry?? anyways i am going to my last class today because it's easy and then im coming back home and doing more and more homework as always. lowkey if i didn't take the first half to today off i would be cooked for my English reading. i kind of still am. idk how that teacher expects us to read an entire classic novel in a week. like i have other things to do besides homework for your class? anyways. there is a school event at a frozen yogurt shop tonight so im hoping to go there. im not taking anyone with me this time. my friends would say no anyways and my sister's friends suck. maybe my parents will come but i doubt it. they always change their minds last minute. anyways im gonna go get ready for class i guess

[4:30pm] this evening i am gonna also go out to eat with my sister because there's another school event at a local fast food place. class was fine. i watched reels and youtube with my sister which was nice. i ate some goldfish and had choccy milk. i did a lot of homework today already so i think im gonna play some roblox until it's time to leave for dinner.