2025.02.03

[1:00pm] im at home right now because i have a free period. today in English my teacher did nothing but yell at us about how stupid we are and how we're too scared to say anything and how they're no such thing as a wrong answer (every time I've spoken in his class he interrupted me to directly disagree). we also had to analyze some story about a guy who uses triangle theorems to figure out his love life. idk. then in Spanish the teacher yelled at us for not doing out work (i finished it 5 minutes after it was assigned last week). then we had an assembly for wish week. it was pretty cool because there was a guy from the broncos there and the CEO of make a wish. im not sure if it is just for the state or the whole company but that's still pretty neat. there were a couple performances by the cheerleaders and poms which was cool too. sydney and grant always eat. then we had to learn some dance for the Friday assembly and it was all tiktok dances. the lady leading it kept yelling atus saying we all know the songs and aren't dancing because we think it's not cool, and that since  the NFL player is doing it we have to do it too. but i literally knew none of the dances because im not addicted to my phone and i don't have tiktok. then i went home to take a break and do some homework when my dad said "oh great you're home! walk the dog." so i did that and i just got home and i leave again in 5 minutes. i think next time i have a free period im just gonna stay at school lol. he's calling me rn so I'll go see what he wants

[4:45pm] he wanted to see what i wanted to do in Cancun for spring break. i told him i wanna get dive certified and he said yes. im very excited :)) i need his help with my finance homework because we're simulating some stuff and he's a financial advisor so he should have some good tips. tonight is the school singing show which is always my favorite school event of the year. there is also an event at a local gelato shop where all money goes to make a wish, so I'm hoping to go there too. i took a very long shows just now and am getting ready to do some homework.

[10:00pm] ok so the singing show sucked. i had a throbbing headache as soon as i finished my last update. my sister took forever to get her hair ready (it looked exactly the same as before) so we got there late. i asked my friends where they were and they never responded. i sat with my sisters friends and watched the show. besides the bright lights and loud noises it was fine. some kids did really well. then i just followed my sister's group and for some reason they were playing dress to impress in a crowd right in front of a walkway. i saw my bsf and she came over and was like "hi sorry i didn't text you back bye" and walked right past me. im used to my friends never actually hanging out when i ask though so i guess its fine. then my sister's friends made me take them along to the gelato place. they were screaming and yelling the whole way, telling me i was going the wrong way (i was following the directions on my phone which in fact were correct) and every turn i made they screamed and held on to the handle on the ceiling for dear life. we got there and it was super crowded. they all squished in to get in line and shut me outside in the cold. eventually i got in and i tried to join in their conversation a couple times and always got ignored. i saw my friend there and she completely ignored me. i saw there was cookies & cream on the menu (my favorite) but when i got to the front they didn't actually have any. so i got chocolate which is still yummy. we went to go sit and there was only a three person table so i just stood there. then they got cold and moved into the car. then they started complaining that they were bored and told me to take them home. i had barely touched my gelato so i just put it in the cup holder and started driving. these girls lived on literal opposite sides of town from each other, with my house being right in the middle. every turn i took they said was wrong. we got there eventually and i let a girl out, and then i drove all the way to the other girls house in complete darkness and almost ran over a sidewalk and eventually got there. when they were finally out my sister started complaining that im stupid and autistic and that my friends were avoiding me because im embarrassing. i got home and my gelato was completely melted. i went straight to my room and started sobbing. tonight was really bad. my friends all ignored me and the people i were with were really rude. my headache is way worse and i can feel my every heartbeat pounding against my skull. lowkey i think im gonna be "sick" tomorrow and just lay in bed all day. i can't do this stuff anymore. can i just have one day where i don't end up crying myself to sleep. thank you.