starting over and the search for ground

i found myself to feel that familiar sadness that creeps around when i know my time with someone is coming to an end.

the same questions i ask myself are always:

did i tell them how much i appreciate them?

do they know?

do they care?

will i ever see them again?

will i be able to try and keep them around?

is that too much?

i hate that things are all temporary. i already miss so many of the friends i made at this job, and i truly want to make these friendships stay forever. 

what sucks more is that i know its possible to keep all these friendships the same, & even progress them. i just have such a hard time doing so.

i lost my ability to deepen my connections with people... its . something i have to work on

i will try my best