The forest and the comfort of the cold

I went outside while it was dark outside because I had pretty much nothing to do. But while I was outside I had the idea of going in the forest because It's snowy and I love seeing snowy forests. so it was my first time I did so. 

It was so beautiful I had to keep going deeper the forest no matter how far it may be.

I walked so far I was starting to feel tired. So I decided to find a nice place in the forest to rest at. But the cold was so comforting that I fell asleep. During the sleep I had this experience where I could not feel anything at all.

Some time passes and I finally wake up but my whole body was frozen cold that I could not feel anything. I felt like I was dead.

It was such a nice feeling. everything felt slow and my head was feeling so dizzy but in a good way. I just had to cut my wrists and bleed on the snow while laying still. It was so fulfiling.

I truly felt like I died for a moment which felt so comforting. after that moment I tried all the ways to make me feel frozen or cold. anything that could make me feel that lifeless feeling. It's like my way out. No more pain.