The Only Child

I know I've been an only child my entire life lol, but it's been hitting especially hard lately for some reason. I feel like I don't fit the stereotype of an only child for the most part, at least I hope I don't lol. Most of the people I surround myself with have siblings, and I know the grass is always greener on the other side but as annoying as some siblings may be, I just know I'd rather have an annoying sibling than none at all. I'm grateful to have a fair few friends but I can't help but feel like I'm missing out on something. Missing out on being able to go to your siblings room when you're bored, annoy them when you're restless, having someone that understands your family as well as you do because they SHARE that family with you. To know what it's like to sit at a dinner table full of people, or have someone to relate to or hang out with when family gatherings get boring. I've grown used to being alone, and don't get me wrong I do appreciate my alone time. It's not that I hate being alone but I do hate feeling lonely. I know they say you make your own family, and I really have, but I'm never going to understand what that sibling bond is like. Also accepting the fact that there's nothing I can do to change that. Even when I grow older and have children of my own, making sure to not have another only child, I won't even be able to understand that part of my own children because I've never experienced it. Plus the fact that they won't have any aunties or uncles on their Mum's side is super strange to think about. I dated a guy who was also an only child for like 4 years, imagine if we had kids. They'd have no aunties, uncles OR cousins. How strange is that? I suppose the bright side is that having friends I love is like having siblings that I've actually chosen. But yeah, I think I've always longed for that sibling bond. Someone to watch over me or someone that I can be protective over, because they are a part of me. 

I also hate how dependent growing up as an only child has made me. On my Mother, on guys, it really does make you think about how much your childhood shapes your adulthood. It might even explain why I'm still so attached to my childhood and being young, because I've never stopped feeling like a kid. I haven't had to watch any of my siblings experience getting older before me because I've never HAD any. No experiences to learn from, no one to be a role model to. I know there are several pros to being an only child as well, believe me, but I don't think I'll ever believe that it's better.