🌨️It's Been A Cold Winter But I'm Trying To Bundle Up!🌨️

Sorry that the title sounds like an isekai title or something but .. thats just how i'm feeling idk! i'm sure i'm not the only one stressed as hell right now and I'm not gonna be afraid to say that here! Every other internet space i have, I try to keep it nice & happy & stress-free for other people! But Here? FUCK IT! this is my space first and foremost. (heheh. myspace.). it's MY blog and I get to choose the oversharing!!! and the world is going to shit!!!

I'm very afraid. i think a lot of people are. For those who're unaware, I'm a queer genderfluid girlboy who's dating a black trans girl. all my friends are in similar situations. and i just feel fucked. we all feel fucked. i'm constantly in the rollercoaster of "i'm so glad i'm with my girl" to "we're all gonna die" to "god this other person in my house is so irritating sometimes" to "there's still hope out there somewhere". it's difficult. i feel like my life is destined to not go anywhere. i felt like it was just a couple months ago but not anymore. now i dont know where i'm going. 

But i can't dwell entirely on the negative. even though i feel the earth crumbling beneath me i'm trying to stay stable as best that I can. So i'm gonna talk abt some of the things i've been using to distract myself.

-OUGHGH I LOVE american girl... Especially in times like this. idk how many people really know the brilliance of american girl. i know it just seems like a pretty little doll for rich kids but i think the historical line is both charming & educational and has been helping me a lot. reading about kids only a couple years younger than me in similar situations of peril makes me feel like i'm gonna make it out alive! so far i've read Kit & Samantha's books. Kit's stories of her family needing to rent their house out to boarders is reminding me of my current living situation in a comforting way, and Samantha's desire to help her poorer friend even when everything is fighting against them is also full of hope for me. maybe it's silly for me to be reading historical fiction for literal children for an overpriced doll line but I Don't Care!! i'm having fun and giving myself comfort. I even bought my own samantha doll!! i'll take nice photography of her eventually 

-Back on my 3DS bullshit! downloaded tetris for myself & also finally pirated the big ass Streetpass upgrade (though i actually use Netpass most of the time). there is . so many more games than i thought. i think it'd be fun to make a video where i rank them all or something, i don't see anyone talking abt them and a lot of them are pretty fun! I wanna start booting up more of my old cartridges, downloading more ROMs, and pumping in more MP3s for myself during the day (I use it as my MP3 player during school)

-I ALSO love Princess Jellyfish!! I got so invested in it that I actually checked it out from the library instead of skipping lunch to read it in the library, lol. I wanna try to finish it by the end of the year so I don't have to buy or pirate the rest of it. Once again, a story of otaku girls making it through a tough economic recession through their obsessions & art.... very touching atm 

-MIKUUUU!!!!! i've been obsessed with vocaloid for a while now. its becoming like. one of the only things i listen to. idk. i vibe with the colorful lil gals. playing a lot of Project Mirai as well, and of course, the legend herself got into fortnite and i bought her music pass skin too!! bad year for everyone except miku 

-We have our third & final passion project for votech coming up & i dont know what im gonna do yet... i just have too many hobbies i want the time to do! making my own website, sewing  & embroidery, animation, stop motion, doll photography... there's too many options! raaaugh!!!!

And i think that's all i have to say this time, both bad & good!! even if i'm just screaming into my own little pocket dimension it makes me feel better all the same. if there is someone out there, stay safe, ok? i promise you're important. the government does not own you, do not let them change you either. and if you're not a sensitive group by yourself, then keep an eye out on your minority friends. give them warmth & comfort for as long as they need, ok? i think all of us deserve a support group right now! 

silly graphics tiiimeeee