life moves on but i dont

life moves on but i dont. wandering the empty backrooms picking at cobwebs the mind forgets but the heart never left. dissociative hazes made me miss out on my own life the gaps i fill in with idealistic conjectures and convenient generalizations my only salvation the last branch i hold on to until it breaks in half like all the others and do i even have a choice? broken pieces of a conscience long dissolved in the soil muffled whispers in a language i forgot how to understand .nostalgia blind with earplugs growing into my skin im here but really im back then trying to piece back together every flash of recognition for what was lost until i can reconstrue a self im not sure i ever was