A Roller coaster of Possibility

I slept in pretty late and decided last minute I was gonna work today so I hauled ass, didn't even eat breakfast, and headed out for the first hour. Since I didn't have my times scheduled in advance for today I had (or was supposed to have) a 2 hour gap. For the second order of the day I had to travel to Troutdale to a trucking company. This was my least favorite order for quite a few reasons. One is that the customer ordered Chick fil A (if you know the bullshit the company says and does and you have read my profile and other blog posts you can see why this is not so great). Another is that I had to go to Troutdale which is about 30 minutes from Vancouver. I drove an hour in total just for that order which takes away from the many other orders that I could be getting and earning more money from them especially since the customer didn't tip me very much (half the money that I make is in tips and it would be nice if my tips were $10+ per customer if I have to drive to a different city especially if it is in a different state. Very few customers have actually done this and I greatly appreciate them for it.). The icing on the cake for this one is that the person that ended up finding the actual customer was extremely rude and just took the food from me without another word. Not even a thank you or have a good day. I guess some people just don't have common decency or manners in general. I couldn't work as long as I wanted to or planned because my phone was about to die. I came home with my phone at 15%. Despite all this, today's shift was one of the best I've had in awhile. I didn't have to call support at all which is nice for a change since I usually have to call at least once. I was able to find and get to all the customer's houses, apartments, and townhouses. My last order I had to go out of town to Ridgefield aka the middle of nowhere. The customer lives out in an area with steep hills to the point were you can't see ahead too well. Driving on those hills was so fun I felt like I was on a roller coaster. I went slower at first because I didn't want to possibly lose control of my car and crash but once I got comfortable I went faster. I had so much fun on these hills that I took the long way back home. Although after the hills, something tragic happened. A raccoon darted out in front of me and before I could do anything, I ran it over. It felt like going over the most depressing speed bump. I felt my soul immediately rip in half and I could tell God is not too happy with me. I know this shit happens and I'm lucky it wasn't a bigger animal such as a deer but I still feel bad that I pretty much killed a trash panda, an animal that I like very much and can relate to. How I can feel this bad for an animal and feel almost nothing if the same happened to a human being is kind of concerning but a clear reminder that humans are just that horrible. Something you will learn about me is that I have a large amount of empathy but a large amount of apathy. I can either care too much about something or not care at all. Luckily I'm going to get help for that and maybe have a good balance and not extremes like I have now. Speaking of help, I finally got my first appointment. It's in the morning but it's later in the morning so I can wake up at a reasonable time like 9am instead of the typical 11am, noon, or even 1pm. It's about 2 to 3 weeks away but it's an appointment and it's better than nothing. I believe that's all for today.

Until tomorrow,

Lee Wilke