#9 ocd

diaries and whatnot are a big special interest for me thats been going on already for... close to two decades. thats a long time for sure. and all the more reason why its something that i keep talking about so often even in diary entries themselves. and something i simply think about a lot. rotating the mere bare concept of diaries/journals in my head like in a microwave.

...now, one unfortunate aspect of it all, is the fact that quite frankly, journaling isnt always all sunshine and rainbows. meaning, it can exacerbate certain things, for example ocd tendecies. which i have. therefore, ive got to be careful with it.

on one hand, i can easily write long ramblings and enjoy it. i have a lot of thoughts, ive got a lot to say! on the other hand, i have to watch out for getting stuck in thought loops and going in circles. and sometimes it can be hard to distinguish unhelpful thought loops from hyperfixating or something like that. bc it can go either way. sometimes, maybe, its even a bit of both.

therefore... sometimes i keep running in circles in my entries just because im fixating on something! other times, however... its the ocd kicking in. :S