Greetings once again. I have stolen the family computer, and is currently staying at my boyfriend (it's not gay we wear socks) John Gar Gar Garcia's house which borders Kazakhstan and Pakistan. Now where was I? Oh yes Uncle George just got to Castile (remember his name is still Zio Georginio, PAY ATTENTION). However many of you may have read the last part and don't believe the Pope incident happened. Well actually it did happen because

1. It did happen...STUPID
2. it's public knowledge, you can read about it in the Vatican Secret Archives 
3. Oh wait you can't, so that makes me instantly correct 

Now enough Talk back to the story.  

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Waiting for something to happen (1484-1487)

now even though Zio knew he could cure this boredom by joining in on what ever they where doing to the people of Granada (maybe they were playing sports or some shit) Zio wasn't interested in these Castilian sports, like who in there right mind wants to go toe to toe with a bull, that'll never catch on. So to cure this lack of purpose once again he took on various odd jobs such as, a builder, a baker, NOT a candle stick maker and a brief stint as a youth pastor. But of course the job he found himself working once again, farming. Zio saw himself as one of the greatest farmers in the world (even though only 45% of his crops succeed but don't worry about it) however he hated farming, but it was something to do.

The Letter (1487)

While toiling in the field one sunny day (just because it's sunny doesn't mean it's a good day) when he saw a man standing out at the edge a field. Zio walked up to man ready to kill him believing the man to be a tax collector. However when he got closer he recognised the man in front of him, it was the farmer he dumped his mother with all those years ago. The man introduced himself as Bran ( Zio didn’t care to ask his name when he threw his mother at him) and came with news. Zio’s mother was dead, she died after a pissed off pilgrim delivering a letter to her punched her ( many pilgrims were pissed off all the time due to gout ridden joints), her final words were for Bran to take care of there farm and daughter. Of course Bran wasn’t about to take orders from a women so after he found out the letter was actually for Zio ( no wonder the pilgrim was pissed off) he sold his farm and dumped his daughter at his local church, and set off to find Zio ( yeah Bran was kind of a dick). now back to Zio and Bran in a field, now Bran was going to hand the letter to Zio but it had gotten lost during his travels but luckily he did read the letter multiple times (see asshole) and in Bran's words the letter said:

To Zio 

I am dying as of right now. but I write to you to warn you of a curse I passed down to you. you see when during my life I noticed I barley aged a day past 20, I was 20 in 853 and lived 600 years only aging in decades. this curse skips a generation and now it attaches to you. you will live to see more moons then any man before you. anyway I must get back to dying now enjoy your long life 

from Grandpa Olwen

After telling Zio of his newly found disease Bran wished him well and left only to be murder by a bandit before he got to the end of the field. now in this situation when you've suddenly told that your practically immortal and will be forced to walk the earth far longer then you want to, you might feel a level of unease. Zio felt this unease of his new burden, AND THEN HE FREAKED THE FUCK OUT

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The Pain in Spain (1487-1492)

Zio had nothing to lose now so as one does he went completely berserk and began by setting fire to the farm (it wasn't even his he just worked the fields) and then stole the farmers clothes which he didn't even wear as during this period he wore nothing, just a sack. he spent this period performing highway robberies as well many nefarious deed such as pillaging, bribery, prostitution, cow tipping and baby throwing. 

" I was going through a phase, nothing to serious" 

This phase however got attention of King Ferdinand the new king of a Spain (dumb name it won't last) who after finishing playing with the people of Granada (where did they go?) decided something had to be done about this feral man running amuck in the country side.

Escape to "India" (1492)

knowing it was only a matter of time before the king had his head for petty crimes. Zio Remembered there being whispers of a unpleasant looking Genoian planning of traveling across the seas and going the other way to get to India, which was dumb...the earth was flat they'd fall off (Uncle George to this day believes the world is flat. he has strange beliefs but carrying on) but knowing he had little choice, India was the place for him. so hopping on a ship and throwing the first person he saw over board to make room, set off for India. the journey was long and...oh wait were here, unfortunately for Zio this was in fact not India for he realised that when getting off the ship when a woman gave him a Toothy smile and smelling of eel pie said

"ELLO DARLING YOU EAR ABOUT THEM LOOKIN FOR THE TACHMIHALL" 

Zio had escaped the Spanish only to find himself in a hell no man should be forced to live in. ENGLAND 

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oh shit the getting is good but now I must go unfortunately I must go for my family has found me and has killed my boyfriend ( rip John Gar Gar Garci) i am currently hiding in the back of a moving van going to a unknow location with the battery of this computer running low so until