Minecraft and Odd Moods

I've been playing Minecraft with my boyfriend Strawberry (not his real name lol) for a week now. That's how I figured out that this old laptop still works! It can't really run Java that well, but we learned that Bedrock runs just fine on it. But it's been getting me into strange moods lately. I've already been kind of weirdly upset over things, and the Minecraft has been weirdly aggravating it. Luckily, he has been nothing but patient with me. I will say that the phrase "do you have unresolved trauma with Minecraft?" absolutely killed me when he asked me the other night.

I don't, as far as I'm aware. Other than nice nostalgic memories, and the one time when I cried drinking vodka and playing Minecraft, there isn't much there for memories. I think I just am emotional lately, and it's showing with Minecraft because that's what I've been playing a lot of. So I'm just making choice lately to be a little more mindful. In the past, a lot of my reactions have been just that- reactive. I haven't really had time to think about what I'm doing and how I'm reacting because I didn't have the brain space or where I was at in my life didn't lend itself to giving me time to think. But now I'm making that choice.

It isn't wrong of me to have bad reactions, and it isn't wrong of me to feel bad. I just think that I need to be aware of when it happens, so I don't have people noticing before I do. I need to be more aware of myself. I am not a scared, cornered, and reactive dog. I have a choice now to be mindful.

But anyways, now I'm getting back on the realm. I have yet to finish our main building but I've been putting a lot of work in for it.