poetry log; father, father

originally written on : 3/8/2023 ||

i have complicated feelings about god and family and loyalty,

because my sister has blue eyes and blonde hair and she can scream

and cry and whine, but she's an angel, oh holy light!

she can do us all no harm!, but turn the script and flip the page,

my darkened eyes like hollow light, if i so much as shown an attitude

ill get crossed and dragged all night,

but god is good, god is great, god is nothing but some empty space,

he tells me of quantum physics and science and of men's mistakes,

that Einsten never understood outer space,

but father, you're just like god, like god Himself, you think you're smarter than the common man,

just because you know the maths and the logics add up well,

you're cold and empty like time and space,

you would pick miss blondie above all else, above your son, the eldest one,

the one you named a scorching sun and cursed for loving his own mum,

but father tell me, if i wasn't meant to love my mother, why'd you pick her

as the holy vessel, why bring a child you hate so much into being just to faze her?

father, father!, you're just like god,

with your mathematics and your broad, broad strokes about the world,

your philosophy degree and all the men you know,

you tell me the world is full of light but my eyes have never been so dark,

father, father!, named yourself God, then got surprised when i chose to be

the unholy one!