Fuck You, January

I always thought cheating made more sense than 

actually taking risk and living it.  

Put the positive affirmations up on the bathroom 

wall…

watch them wilt in steam 

without ever reading a single phrase.

I love you more than you’ll ever allow 

inside your heart.

You were my first girl 

my safe parts.

The moment I showed signs of growing 

you broke down immediately. 

I cried for you almost every night.

Looking for other mannequin ladies to dance with

and do drugs. 

It never replaced what we had. 

I still can’t replicate it. 

I want to move on from it. 

Be the girl from the movies. 

Character arc fascinating and ever evolving. 

But picking at scabs is more comforting, 

I can’t wait to look in the mirror one day 

and find the change in me there.