Internet Diary 17#

I hate myself so much, everything about me is terrible and I don’t understand why people still talk to me.

So, a couple of days ago I’ve realized I might be suffering from dysphoria a good bit of these past months.

I’ve used to read and watch stuff about that but as I started to drift away from teaching myself about things like that I had forgotten about it.

OMG SO like you know how terrible I am when talking to a therapist.

I’m just gonna start writing something that needs to be talked about, since I am so done with talking about something unless that makes me seem mentally stable. 

It’s honestly so hard for me to look at my body, even when I have clothing on it just doesn’t feel like me. My face is the worse part about my body as well as everything else.

At least I could kinda fix my face a tiny bit, my hair could be changed to fit my face a bit more like dying it another color and getting a different cut.

On my birthday I will be getting my hair fully dyed black and in my opinion I believe it will take the focus away from my face by making the skin color of my face look great in comparison of my hair color.

Basically, my hair color will fix my face in a way by making the skin color look good along with my hair color.

My blond hair is so tiring and so close looking in comparison of my skin color that it makes me look disgusted at the sight of ANYTHING even when I am truly happy in the moment.

Oh yeah guess what, I’m going to get my hair cut tomorrow. It’s only gonna be a tiny bit taken off since my bangs are TOO long again and the back of my hair makes it look like I don’t have the right haircut anymore.

Ugh I have to wake up early tomorrow though, recently I’ve been waking up at 11 something in the morning.

A Internet Diary 18# might come way sooner than a new Internet Diary usually comes out, but that is because I kinda wanna yap more later.