Being the eldest daughter

*You becoming the parent

*Making sacrifice for their happiness

*When everything gets rough, everything falls on you

*You'll be the one they'll run to install of the parent

*Hiding your depression and pain with a smile

*Having the responsibility as the eldest child

*Reminding them to love more & not grow hatred

*You're sought to take in majority of responsibility at a young age

*You begin to second guess all decisions

*Now that starts to effect things that effect your future 

*becoming testy indecisive and an overthinker

*Mentality disabled 

Being the eldest female in a polynesian mixed household and raising my sibling- being overly independent because I was constantly let down, being overly caring and mature because I was the backbone of my household. Always putting everyone else before myself, pushing myself beyond breaking point to make sure, I'm not perceived as weak or useless as I was the role model for my younger sibling growing up. Figuring out the beginning my life is being timed like the end is coming. I'd never give up my part in life for another, but if I could redo some things, I DEFINITELY would.