should've choose life

I have no idea why I am upset right now.

If you look at it this way, I didn't have something so special, I went to school and had a very easy English test. Saw my girl friends and went home. But something is missing... I can't point it out but it's just not it. Do I really want to live life this way?

Do I really want to do the same things every day for my entire life? Do I really want to live in this town for the rest of my life and do nothing besides school? Hell no.

The point is I can't choose, I can't take myself and go live wherever I want, I could if I were an adult. Life as an adult seems so much better as it really is, but I guess if I want to or not I have to get there. Maybe if I could put myself in the place I wanted in life my life would be much more relaxed and I could achieve my goals finally.

Maybe "goals" is a big word, but it is definitely things I am looking forward to, like having peace. Which is so hard when your neighbors can't give you a minute of silence. Like. It's not even their town, they just came here almost a year and a half ago and they feel like they are locals. Honestly, I don't care what they are doing in their house but why do I have to hear it? What have I asked for some quiet time? Nothing more. or even just loud trucks and motorcycles no one wants to hear this for real. 

Another goal is to FINALLY have a normal relationship with a guy who isn't like those I've spoken with in the past, like is that really difficult? Why all the liars and male whores are attracted to me but not the nerdy and funny I really need? It's like I have those I don't want.

I can't see any real reason why this is the way it is. But who needs reasons when you've got...

+ I think I am a little sick :(