but it's our 10th monthsary

I'm here again so it just means that something bad happened again. It's my ldr gf and I's 10th monthsary... what a milestone. I... we talked this morning and she agreed to celebrate. We didn't celebrate. We broke up before, on late october and got back on early december. She said she's sorry, and I know it was a whole misunderstanding. We're young, we didn't understood each other. I'm fucked up, I'm mentally unstable, got a lot of mental illness and it has affected us. I'm trying to not let it happen again, and she said she'd be more understanding and put on more efforts to our relationship because honestly... I hope I'm not a bad partner for saying that I want a little more effort, just love me the way I wanna be loved because I love her the way she wants to be loved and I asked her if I really do love her the way she wants to and she said yes. It's... Well... I'm not feeling it. I mean, she says she's trying, I know she does, and I know what change doesn't really appear that fast but it's our monthsary. She slept at 3pm this afternoon, I asked her if she won't eat and she said she'd eat if her mother wakes her up. I just want her to eat. I want us to talk, like we used to every monthsary, like a deep conversation. So to cut things short, she slept on our monthsary and will be waking up at 2am tp finish her schoolworks instead of doing it after lunch so we can at least celebrate a little this night. I... don't know anymore.